We all get nervous, butterflies in the stomach, constant wondering and fear of what will or won't happen.  It can be about a decision that's being made, a fear of the unknown and even due to excess energy and excitement.  We all react differently when we're nervous, some crack under the pressure, some flourish and excel well beyond their first expectations.  What causes these nerves? Why is it so hard to deal with them and why do we make rash decisions, fall apart and even make situations worse than what they could ever possibly be?  The more I think I can't help but wonder; are nerves determined by the amount of pressure we put on ourselves and if so, why is it so hard to relax and just let things take their course?

I have a tendency to get nervous about quite a few different things, work, relationships, winning, losing and just excelling in general.  It has been happening a lot more of late, making me wonder why I keep going through the motions of getting nervous, cracking, excelling and than have to sit back and deal with the outcome be it good or bad.

Being an Account Executive for Telstra is a fast paced sales role, where timing is key, relationship building is essential and dealing with problem after problem is just something you have to deal with day to day.  After so many dramas day after day begins to take its toll, I begin to get nervous about the phone calls I have to make, just expecting customers to throw more issues my way and really, there is only so much yelling and blame that one person can take.  How does one overcome these nerves? It's something I have to do as part of the job but how can I overcome this constant fear of being yelled at to excel at the job I'm paid for?

I have started playing tennis again, training is good, plus there are 2 lots of fixtures each week.  I am playing with my good friends Sportsman & Mr_Ambition and although I'm having a great time, can't play to save myself.  In training I am hitting the ball crisply, clean and hitting the lines.  As soon as I step onto the court, I'm instantly on the defensive, the butterflies in my stomach are ongoing and I sometimes feel quite sick.  How am I supposed play a good game when I can't stop thinking about winning, living up to expectation, losing, being great at what I love, being terrible at what I love, having people judge my skill and in the end, having people judge me. How do I stop my mind from racing?

Sometimes meeting new people, conversation flows, friends are made and sometimes, being more than friends.  We manage to get people's attention just by being who we are, raw and in the end not really caring about what they think of us because we are who we are and shouldn't have to change.  We're all smiles, full of laughs and good times and there isn't anything that bothers us, we're uninhibited because we have nothing to lose, but all to gain.  The question is though is why does that feeling go away when we've already put in the hard yards, got that persons interest and it's time to just relax, enjoy each other's company and build on what you've started.

I have been talking to Classy_BF who has found herself in a situation with a guy where she made the move, he reciprocated and they had a connection which was looking like it could go further after the first meeting.  A few days without contact and speaking from experience and it's not just Classy_BF that we all wonder, we get nervous and begin to doubt how great we really are.

So why do we get nervous about that person losing interest, finding someone else when they haven't given us reason to think that way?  Our minds go into overdrive, we turn into wallowing messes and it's not the easiest feeling to shake.  We know that everything is ok, but for a small period of time, usually just a day or two, we expect that dreaded phone call to say "it's over" "I'm sorry" and then back at square one.  Why can't we just enjoy a drama free 'relationship' and just go with the flow?  This day and age do we need the drama to make a relationship work and are we unable to believe that things can be good all the time?

In the end, nerves regarding any situation can be controlled, as long as we're able to look at situations rationally and really just be who we are and forget about what others think about us because really, in the end, does it really matter? We all only have one life to live and it's all about how we choose to live it.  We aren't necessarily going to be the best at everything, but if you can believe in yourself and not be afraid of decisions that you make, it will be a lot easier in the end to handle whatever that outcome may be. I know I'm trying to not over-analyse, just go with the flow and really, in the end, isn't life easier when there isn't any drama?

Mik ;)