There are so many different labels that we as people give ourselves, others and situations.  We label ourselves in relationships, our orientations, our jobs and even our lives.  Labels can be definitive of who we are and what people think of us.  They can come with preconceptions and assumptions as to what we are like as people and with that stereotypes are born, categorising people into a pigeon hole which they can spend a lifetime trying to shake and be seen for the person they actually are.  The more I think I can't help but wonder; by labeling something in our lives is it a way of having it end before it’s started?

There are so many different types of people in this world, sexually you have gay and straight, culturally there is black and white and then there are the terms Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband and Wife.  We label people so that we are able to differentiate between them and in some cases create somewhat of a class system to make ourselves feel more important than others.  Are we that insecure in ourselves that we need to label people so that we can feel better?  Being gay I know that I am different to the norm, but to me it feels normal.  Who has a right to tell me that what I am is wrong?  By labeling me it's as though society is branding me as "different" and therefore in some circles, shunned.  It's no-one’s business apart from my own what I do with my life so really, why have such a label that comes with so much stigma attached to it?

I find it funny that in so many cases that we are told how great it is to be individual but at the same time we are lead to believe that all people are created equal.  We are creatures of survival and will do anything it takes to do so, but what I don't understand is how no matter what is rammed down our throats, it's always a general consensus that as long as you get to where you want to be, it doesn't matter whose toes you crush along the way.  Who's to say that there is a right or wrong way to live our lives being that we are 'conditioned' to act as though we are better than everyone else and by labeling them it helps us justify our actions because that's just how life works. 

Labels can be hurtful, derogatory, loving, and healthy and can help us explain different things in life.  We have labels for friends like Best Friend, Mate and Buddy, and for those we don't like, words of which I won't use on here.  By doing this are we setting a standard for those people in a way that they have to live up to a certain expectation about the person we need them to be?  Is this healthy?  We want our best friends to be everything to us and help us along the way but is it possible for them to be all that for us?  We don't expect ourselves to have all the answers so is it fair to label someone as though they should?

For me, one of the biggest labels there are has to do with relationships.  I have longed to meet someone that will label me their boyfriend and me to do the same to them.  Over the past few weeks I was dating a fantastic guy and we were taking things slow.  Slow to the point of nothing based on the fact we saw each other once a week and was more of a comfort thing than anything else.  I wanted that label, I wanted him to say I was his and in the end it happened to be something that was part of its demise.  I wanted something that he didn't.  I have started to realise that by creating that label it's somewhat caging and restrictive on a person and to expect them to lose part of themselves to be with you. 

A relationship free of labels would allow 2 people to come together as individuals and compliment the great people that they are by being together.  We are all different and want different things from relationships and I think that if someone can tell you that they only want to be with you is enough of a reason to keep it going.  What kind of relationship is it when you feel caged into being 'owned' by someone else?  I think the labels could fade away as long as a person knows where they stand with the other and doesn't feel as though they aren't a part of something between 2 people.  So really, if you both communicate with each other, is there really a need to label them as your own?  As long as you know that they're only with you can you really appreciate what you have, no labels necessary.

It comes down to who we are and our own mind frames to whether we can do without labeling people into a particular pigeon hole.  If we are truly happy with ourselves and our lives than does it really matter about how other people live their lives and be the people they want to be?  Does it matter if someone is gay or straight, black or white as long as they are good people and aren't hurting others in their journey?  I know that I am a good person and I am not a stereotype.  I am just me and that's enough for me.

In the end, should you really care about what someone thinks of you if you are loved by those around you and want to have you in their lives?  I guess it's an individual thing and there are so many factors as to why we label.  Some things I'll still want labels for, but now I have a greater clarity and won't have such a need for it in a relationship.  That in itself is liberating as I know that when the right guy comes along, we'll just be together and be true to the person we are, because when you think about it, that's why they're with you in the first place.

Mik